Known for her candid opinions on Loose Women, she now serves as Britain’s most straightforward advice columnist, addressing issues related to sex, relationships, and life challenges.
Dear Coleen
Within my circle of friends is a woman I’ve known since our school days. She embodied the stereotypical mean girl persona – attractive, popular, yet often unkind.
Although I now maintain my distance, I share a close friendship with her sister, a relationship that seems to irk her. During a recent birthday celebration I hosted, I felt obligated to invite her, despite her past behavior. However, her presence was marked by either indifference or disguised, hurtful remarks throughout the evening, which dampened the mood on my special day.
Consequently, I’ve distanced myself from her sister due to my discomfort with this woman’s negative impact on my life. Although it saddens me, I prioritize avoiding negativity and individuals who undermine my self-worth.
Should I address the issue with her or her sister, or simply let go of both relationships? The fact that our children attend the same nursery adds a layer of awkwardness, but I believe I can maintain friendships with our mutual acquaintances without her presence. I value your perspective.
Coleen advises
If interacting with her compromises your peace and joy, it might be best to disengage. You can engage with your other friends, including her sister, separately or in smaller settings.
At this stage of life, there’s no obligation to include individuals at your gatherings who do not contribute positively to your life. Social pressures from the past should not dictate your present choices.
It appears that breaking free from the roles established in school may be a challenge for all involved. This situation could serve as a catalyst for asserting yourself or moving on.
If you distance yourself slightly and her sister inquires about the change, you have the opportunity to express your feelings honestly, stating how her sister’s behavior affected your birthday celebration. This transparency may either strengthen your bond or reveal where loyalties lie.
The adage, “People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime,” resonates here. It’s acceptable to drift apart naturally from school acquaintances for various reasons, without guilt.
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